I’ve just exchanged with you a Toyota Corolla for a Chevrolet Corvette.  In addition to the Corolla, you’ve been dealt a motorcycle, a moped and a Powerball lottery ticket that will be valid in about a year. However, the main point in this trade is the Corolla. You’ve just switched jobs, and while the Corvette has been your baby for a few years and has served you fine, it needs a new home and you must downgrade to another vehicle, but at the same time you seek compensation if you are exchanging your Corvette for something else.

You ultimately find somebody willing to give you an offer you can’t refuse. The Corolla has had a few good years of performance; it’s still running! At the same time, it experienced a hiccup in operation a couple of months ago. There’s a likely chance it will be repaired and could be on the backburner for a few months. There’s also a possibility it won’t run the same as it used to. But you must switch out the Corvette for something else, and other offers aren’t willing to give you the same things the person with the Corolla is giving you.

So, you agree to trade. Everything is going good, until you take the Corolla out for a spin, and then you realize that — despite knowing of the ramifications of acquiring such a vehicle with potential repair issues — you are fearful of the future for this newly acquired Corolla of yours! Even though you understood the consequences before and during the exchange process, you are now seeking additional compensation, more than what was agreed upon, and you are also considering ixnaying the whole damn deal! Eventually, after playing around and being a weasel, the other person pitches in a scratch-off ticket that won’t even be valid for another three years.

That’s the best metaphor I can come up with to describe the dipshit frenzy that was induced by the good ol’ Cleveland Cavaliers, a team that will soon be mentioned as LeBron James’ former team yet again.

Y’know, this information about Isaiah Thomas and his hip wasn’t exactly a concealed piece of knowledge. Haven’t you noticed Danny Ainge skirting around questions from the press in regards to Thomas’ future?

I don’t think the Cavs are intent on keeping Thomas around for the long haul. He’s an undersized point guard that’s almost 30-years-old and seeking a max contract. I know that a lot of Celtics fans are still hiding behind their emotions and crying about the absence of ol’ “I hustle and play hard!” I.T., but they are more than likely better off in the long haul, especially if they can build around Irving as Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown reach the potential they might be capable of.

The Cavaliers have done well in this trade, though, not only securing the Toyota Corolla (Thomas), but getting the motorcycle (Jae Crowder). They can sell the moped for scraps. The powerball ticket (Nets’ first round draft pick) could be useful! Who knows about the scratch-off.

But it’s clear they sucked the Celtics dry.

I doubt this Celtics team will defeat the Cavaliers in the postseason. Not this upcoming year. I just don’t see it. I doubt anybody is even defeating the Warriors. But in due time, if Tatum and/or Brown reaches gold standard fruition, we can see it happen. Especially if the reports are true about LeBron getting the hell out of Cleveland (again) next summer.

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