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There’s only one fighter in all of MMA (well, three, if you include Francis Carmont and Brendan Schaub…) that I dislike: Johny Hendricks. As much as I try to be unbiased, I can’t stand that bleating whiner of a bumrat schmuck. He’s the reigning UFC Welterweight champion and he’s facing Robbie Lawler tonight in a rematch from their original Welterweight-title-crowning fight back in March. I usually set these posts up with a different structure, but fuck it, I’m rolling with this line of action today.

After legend Georges St.-Pierre defeated Hendricks to retain the Welterweight title last November (and subsequently semi-retired), Hendricks went on an interminable tirade for months, whining and bitching and groaning and moaning and pissing all over the goddamn place about how the Welterweight title belonged to him, and ’cause he left a few marks on GSP’s face, all of that meant that he should’ve been the champ of the damn ol’ 170 lb. division.

Well, Johny “Little Rig” Hendricks rendered himself into a molecular structured hypocrite when, in March of this year, his face was beaten and battered by one “Ruthless” Robbie Lawler, and Hendricks persevered to win the Welterweight title by taking Lawler down twice in the fifth and final round of their fight and lying on top of him to avoid Lawler’s superior standup game.

By Hendricks’ account, shouldn’t Lawler be the motherfuckin’ champion of the Welterweight division?

Sheesh Louise and a butter biscuit from hell…

I’ll give credit when credit is due: Hendricks has an overhand left that, when it connects, is going to have a stunning effect, and his wrestling is superior to Lawler’s. However, in the standup, Hendricks is a one-trick pony with that overhand left while Lawler has a variety of punches and kicks in his arsenal to throw towards Hendricks. Of course, I’m sure Hendricks will use his wrestling to lie on top of Lawler for five rounds and win another unanimous decision while dipshit MMA forum-goers of the internet will pronounce, “Aye told-juh! Hendricks wasn’t even healthy ‘gainst dat dere Robert Lawler back in ol’ March, and now he took it to h’eem and won ‘gain! Yeaah! Now brang on dat Gee Ess Pee for ah’ rematch!”

Dipshits.

So while Hendricks will likely wrestlefuck Lawler to a UD, I’ll go with the uber-biased prediction of Lawler knocking Hendricks the fuck out in the second round with a leg kick heard ’round the world.

Now, with that said, the other fight that’s headlining this pay-per-view is the co-main event: Anthony Pettis, after winning the Lightweight title last August, is finally defending the the belt against Gilbert Melendez.

Now, with that said, I usually wouldn’t give a shit who wins this fight. I appreciate both fighters, like I usually always do when it comes to competitors not named Johny Hendricks, Francis Carmont or Brendan Schaub, but with every post over the last year that I’ve noticed on MMA Facebook pages that mentioned Pettis being received by fans with dipshit-induced comments like, “Huh! Pettis! He never fights! Paper champ! He’s injured all da dayumn time! Take the title away!”, I genuinely hope Pettis decisively finishes Melendez. Anthony Pettis, victor by round 1 KO of Melendez and every simple minded detractor out there.

No offense to Melendez, and nothing at all against him, but these fans are ignoring the fact that Melendez hasn’t even fought since last October, when he was almost knocked out by a braindead zombie of a man known as Diego “The Nightmare” Sanchez, so excuse me if I desire drinking a shitload of Killian’s* because of people’s near-sighted, blatant incompetence when it comes to ignoring one aspect of the sport.

(*… I’ve already had a few Killian’s prior to writing this post, so fuck you.)

This went from being a post meant for predictions to one that might as well have been called, “Troy Inebriatedly Writes About How Big of a Hypocritical Dipshit Johny Hendricks Is and Why MMA Fans are Hypocritical Dipshits, too, and Why He Hopes Lawler and Pettis Win Their Respective Fights”.

I should change it to that.

No.

Have a damn good night, everybody. Be safe out there. Enjoy watching Robbie Lawler capture the Welterweight title and Anthony Pettis retaining the Lightweight title. Mahalo!

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