Or should I say “the lunacy of one Roger Goodell”? Who makes this stuff up?

In the NFL, players might get four games for PEDs (performance enhancing drugs), but a player that’s a criminal might only get two.

Ray Rice knocked his girlfriend the fuck out.

Read that sentence above a few times. Regardless of whether his girlfriend emotionally refused to press charges or not, he genuinely knocked her… the fuck… out.

And for that, he only gets a two game suspension by the NFL.

roger goodell nfl logic

(Note: I feel like I’m obligated to use the phrase “knocked her the fuck out” because it emphasizes the fact that he, indeed, knocked her the… you know the rest.)

A more fitting suspension would be a year away from the NFL and a 3-fight contract with the UFC during the specified time — since he threw a haymaker on his wife, let’s throw him into the octagon with the likes  of UFC Heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez, welterweight contender Robbie Lawler and heavyweight fighter Travis Browne in three separate fights.

I’m only being tongue in cheek, but it’s eye roll-worthy of the NFL to only give him two games.

I reckon Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon has the wrong vice, eh? Stop smokin’ mary jane and start beatin’ women. ‘Merica. NFL!

Also, I guess the real question at the end of the day is, since the NFL finds Rice’s actions to be rather insignificant and benign, which round should I draft Rice in — third or fourth round of my fantasy draft? (Ah, just kidding, I’m not a big fantasy football guy.)


4 thoughts on “Ray Rice and the Lunacy of the NFL

  1. Hey man, I really love your stuff and your website is pretty fucking cool. Would you mind giving my friend and I’s recently started podcast a listen? Or maybe even give us a shoutout? We’d love to return the favor for you, or even have you on the pod sometime. You can find all our links at thomascollaro.wordpress.com. Thanks!

  2. A disgrace. Especially highlighted in Philly as it was announced just before the Rice suspension Eagles lineman Lane Johnson got FOUR games for performance-enhancing substances. The NFL’s on and off the field verdicts have long been inconsistent and illogical. Today, add on idiotic.

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