Nobody learned from the colossal contract the Los Angeles Angels handed to a 32-year-old Albert Pujols in December 2011?

What about the dumbshit New York Yankees dishing out that ridiculous deal to Alex Rodriguez back in 2007 that they are still dealing with as 2014 draws near?

Holy shit.

I’m a weak late, but goddamn it, the Seattle Mariners, holy fuck, it’s as if the entire city is blinded by the extreme regular season success their professional football team is experiencing considering how they just handed out a $260 million contract to a 31-year-old second basemen that’s more self-obsessed than almost anyone in baseball right now: Robinson Cano.

“Troy! How do you know he’s self-obsessed?!”

History — baseball’s regular season is tedious. If he hotdogged around with the New York Yankees, just watch how he’ll do with the Seattle Mariners.

I guaran-damn-tee that they’ll be shopping him after about 18 months, trying to unload that ignorant deal. He’s not even that big of a star. The real winner behind this contract his Cano’s agent, Jay-Z. Jay-Z is a goddamn genius. He’s the agent of the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Kevin Durant and New York Jets’ Geno Smith, too, both wielding pretty solid deals in their respective sport as we speak.

What I want to know is when these baseball general managers will learn that these contracts being given to over-the-age-of-30 baseball players will never bring a championship to the clubhouse.

Look at what the St. Louis Cardinals do. Look at what the Boston Red Sox do. Homegrown players brought up from the farm system (although, y’know, David Ortiz is in his late 30s and after disappearing for the last four years came alive and went fucking crazy in the World Series — makes you wonder…).

The money Robinson Cano just received in his contract with the Seattle Mariners — the only athletes in the world that warrant that type of money are star quarterbacks and star NBA players. I’m speaking from a completely objective perspective — THAT’S IT! A baseball player that won’t be worth a damn after three or four years of a ten year contract? Get the fuck out.

Back in July, I wrote about baseball being archaic and how its staying power in the media is rather limited due to how stubborn the old-timers are with their collective resistance to positive change for the obvious betterment of the game.


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