Holy shit.

I’m currently writing this at 10:15 A.M. on Wednesday, October 16, 2013. This post will be published publicly at 12:01 A.M. on Thursday, October 17, 2013. That’s the time I have it scheduled to go out.

I have my DirecTV DVR receiver paused. Yes, I must be a goddamn masochist, because I’m watching ESPN First Take, and despite how ostentatiously frivolous Skip Bayless is and how long-winded (understatement) Stephen A. Smith is, I watch this show and give it my 0.00001% rating increase.

But Bayless and Smith aren’t the problems with this show. Not at all. They do what they need to do in order to coerce the American sports fandom to tune in.

Cari Champion, the moderator, is the problem. I have no problem with her outside of the show, but within the show, she simply needs to shut the fuck up. While Bayless and Smith go back and forth screaming at each other over various topical sports, she consistently interjects with inane laughter, random emitted agreements in the form of “Uh huhs” and “Mmhmms” and all that jazz. She’s the moderator — stay out of the debates. Jay Crawford was one hell of a moderator. So was Cindy Brunson. Even the much maligned Jemele Hill did a damn good job as a moderator before she went off to do other things at ESPN.

Perhaps this is ESPN’s plans, though, to piss us off in any way possible from the vantage of whatever capacity they can, even from Cari Champion doing little things to drive viewers nuts, and for that reason: keeping the viewers coming back.

Well played, Worldwide Leader.

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One thought on “Cari Champion Needs to Learn to Shut the Fuck Up

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