Yesterday morning, I wrote about the New England Patriots possibly facing their impending first loss of the season to the Cincinnati Bengals, and they did. Cincinnati also — what I didn’t expect — ended Tom Brady’s touchdown streak at 52 games (two shy of tying Drew Brees’ mark). I didn’t watch the game, but it looked like a masterful showing by the Bengals’ underrated defense.

Speaking of defense, how about the game that defied the word “defense”? Denver and Dallas? See, I knew Peyton Manning would rip that Dallas defense apart (albeit he did throw his very first interception of the season yesterday), but I didn’t expect the Cowboys to dish out the same on the Denver D. Tony Romo, of all people, passed for 506 yards, but in the end he also threw the game losing interception, which was a poor throw. It wasn’t his fault for the loss (as a lot of idiots will say), but Romo is the one quarterback in the NFL that can throw for over 500 yards and still throw the interception that costs the Cowboys the game. Props to Romo for his brilliant performance, but it was very Romo-esque in the end, y’know?

The Rams beat the Jags 34-20. Whoop-de-damn-do. I was going to go ahead and concede, “just deface the team from the league!” if they’d lost to Jacksonville, especially after Blaine by-God Gabbert threw a 67-yard touchdown strike to Justin Blackmon that split through three Rams’ defenders. I don’t get it… going into the season I expected the Rams’ defense to be this impeccable, unstoppable machine, much like they showed a lot of last season, but instead they’ve been a colossal disappointment. They haven’t changed personnel, so perhaps one can blame new defensive coordinator Tim Walton for the team’s poor showing on that side of the field. Then again, offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer is just as bad, if not worse. I still have no idea why the Rams hired him. He never was worth a shit in New York with the Jets, and he’s only hired in the league because his father is a heralded legend. I can’t take anything away from this game other than the fact that the Rams won a home game against a team they should have stomped.

Matt Schaub is one of the many Achilles’ heels (yeah, that’s possible) on a Houston Texans team. I figured they’d lose to the San Francisco 49ers, and they did — they were absolutely squashed 34-3. But hey, Texans fans, never fear — you’ll be hosting the St. Louis Rams in your little Reliant Stadium this Sunday and Schaub will throw for at least four touchdown passes (I guarantee it). The Rams’ secondary this year has been fucking awful. Schaub should have no problem ripping the Rams apart. And by the way, Texans fans, quit being little spoiled bitches and start appreciating your quarterback. He’s still an above-average player that’s a top 15 quarterback. He’s better than Sam Bradford, Blaine Gabbert, Michael Vick, Chad Henne, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Carson Palmer, Matt Stafford, Josh Freeman, Christian Ponder, Ryan Tannehill, Nick Foles, Matt Cassel, Geno Smith, EJ Manuel, Brian Hoyer, Brian Weeden… the list goes on. So shut the fuck up for a little while. He played piss poor against two of the best teams in the NFL in Seattle and San Francisco (I need to drink an entire bottle of Jim Beam Devil’s Cut after writing that). He still looks like Pvt. Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, no doubt, but he’s still a top 15, arguably top 10, quarterback in the NFL.

I love the Indianapolis Colts. This year they’ve stomped the 49ers and yesterday they beat the Seahawks. What a beautiful team. I appreciate that. I’ll probably be singing a different tune later this year when they whip my Lambs.

Josh Freeman signed with the Vikings. I don’t understand why the Jaguars didn’t offer him a contract. He could easily outplay Blaine Gabbert and Chad Henne.

The Lions continue to be an up-and-down team that usually underperforms on the road while rockin’ out at home. The Packers beat ’em in Lambeau yesterday. No surprise. Aaron Rodgers is a bad motherfucker and the Packers needed that win after being embarrassed by the Bengals two weeks ago.

The Giants continue to disappoint. No idea why. Haven’t watched a single game of theirs. What’s obvious is that Eli Manning is underperforming (12 picks to his 8 touchdowns) and they can’t run the ball worth a damn.

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