One little piece of broccoli.
One potato chip.

Healthy, unhealthy. Bullshit.

I’ve written a post about this before. Can’t remember exactly what I wrote, and I’m admittedly, unabashedly lazy about going back to revise it or to read what I wrote back then. Nonetheless, it’s all the same. One bit of consumption of a certain food in your dietary lifestyle will instantly render you ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’. If, one day, you tear down three doughnuts, that’s fantastic. That won’t be the alleged alibi for your demise in life (unless you are allergic to a certain food, but I digress).

The biggest problem I have with the online nutrition and fitness community, and I have repeated myself over and over because I’m long-winded and repetitive for all the phenomenal reasons, is that people want to single out certain foods and call them good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, clean or unclean (yes, I wash my fruits and vegetables from the grocery store, damn it). It’s moronic and gives people the wrong ideas. Hell, look around and notice how many people have eating disorders because they go to the extremes with their daily diets. Instead of enjoying the things they love to eat, they kick them to the curb, isolating them, and only eating certain things because they are sucked into such a retarded dogma by a cult-like group of molecular structured dunces. (Paleo, anyone? Atkins?)

If you want ice cream, fit it into your macros. You like multiple packs of Skittles? Me, too, brah (not the original, though; fuck that noise)! Fit ‘em into your macros.

What you should do, and this is universal advice for everyone out there: eat a diet comprised of mostly minimally processed foods, but fit in what you enjoy. Moderation. If you feel that you don’t understand the concept of moderation and that you are tempted to consume more of what you love, then discipline yourself and exercise the right that you have of self-control. Nothing comes easy in life.

But you say, “It’s better to just cut that out to avoid temptation!” That’s a loser’s mentality. Trying to hide and run away from things. I don’t like cowards. I abhor cowards. Just as much as I have an immense disdain for liars and excuse-makers. Shut the fuck up. It’s better to acquire self control and to enjoy life than to run away from temptations.

Then we will all hear, “I will live longer than you! I’m eating a minimally processed diet that will protect me against diseases and I’ll probably be here until I’m 110!” Awesome. That’s fucking fantastic. The arrogant, egotistic mindset of some people is loud and bombastic enough to ignore, and not to be taken seriously. They are like those morons that whine about soybean oil intake (I’m not big on soybean oil — smells like shit, and it’s an unstable, heavily processed oil, but it’s not going to do any ham to you unless you wield an allergy to it OR you are consuming LARGE amounts of it, CHRONICALLY), popcorn in theaters causing Alzheimer’s and ascorbic acid (vitamin C) pairing with sodium benzoate to cause cancer. I’m not too big on the prospect of being 110-years-old, anyway. Fuck that. I’ve already lost too many people in my life as it is, but as always I digress.

People see these diet soda studies, the aforementioned popcorn study and the soybean oil studies… and they run for the hills. They magnify what is said and the hype it up more than it should be heralded. Most of these studies are done on rats, and they are given lethal doses and serving sizes in the first place when the human being counter-dose would be something like 24,999 cans of diet soda in a day. Now, I don’t know ’bout you folks, but I don’t consume that much in a day, but stranger things have happened with some people, I reckon.

The only thing I’d avoid as much as possible is trans-fats, but they are so irrelevant and hardly used these days that I wouldn’t flip a big shit about them.

GMOs this, GMOs that. Genetically modified organisms  “The government is trying to kill us and control us! GMOs! Stop! OH MA GOODNUSSSS OHH SHEEIT”… please, just please. I’m going to head over to Taco Bell and tear down a couple of Doritos Locos Tacos and STILL look sexier than hell, especially compared to you whiny ass dunces.

“But looks don’t imply health!” — True, that’s why you should take a scan of all my blood panels and all that jazz. Still sexy. Still sexy. And you? Forever mirin’ and jelly.

“But you are young! — Of course your blood panels are going to look damn good!” Oh, yeah? Sounds like a cop out.

“Cop Out was a shit flick!” — I concur.

There are so many bullshit beliefs in these communities. Always be skeptical. Be skeptical of me. Be skeptical of others. LEARN how to think for yourself. For once in your life, do your own thinking. Don’t become brainwashed just because a guy posts up a horde of studies saying this or that. Read, study, investigate, research, be a fucking bombastic, scholastic dick-slingin’ superstar about it. But stop, and I plead of you, STOP delving into over-complicated pseudo-science that can easily be bunked and picked apart simply because you are clinging to nutritional ideals and beliefs you once had. Open your eyes and look. Seeing is believing.

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