Using ridiculously idiotic internet lingo to succinctly describe Ben Roethlisberger’s career thus far:
— brb being drafted to the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2004.
— brb losing the first game of the season, winning 17 in a row, then losing to the Patriots in the AFC championship game.
— brb nearly choking away the 2005 season before watching my teammate kill Carson Palmer’s career, watching Mike Vanderjagt choke, herpin’ and derpin’ the Broncos and contriving with the referees to beat the Seahawks in Super Bowl XL.
— brb getting in a motorcycle wreck because of my lack of sense to wear a helmet.
— brb having a subpar season because my mind still can’t handle the effects of an NFL game.
— brb having my best season, so far, and fucking it all up against Jacksonville in the playoffs.
— brb having a solid season and winning the championship against the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.
— brb banging this broad hard in Lake Tahoe.
— brb missing the playoffs because the Super Bowl slump is inevitable sometimes.
— brb banging a 20-year-old college chick and getting a little too rough with her.
— brb watching my teammate get traded to the New York Jets. Brought the lulz.
— brb having the second best record in the AFC.
— brb going to Super Bowl XLV while the Patriots and former teammate Santonio Holmes aren’t. Feeling the lulz.
— brb preparing to play the Packers.