Alberto Del Rio proclaims himself to be “Mexican royalty”, that he comes from the bloodline of kings. Sunday night he tossed Santino Marella over the top rope and won the Royal Rumble.

Basically, from 7:55 p.m. Saturday night until 11:45 p.m. Sunday night, a few friends and I watched all twenty-three Royal Rumbles non stop, doubling down on caffeine and speaking in kayfabe terms the entire time.

I’m not gonna lie — I used to be a big time pro wrestling ‘mark’ back in the day. From 1998 until about 2004 there was no bigger wrestling than out there than yours truly. What stopped me from continuing to watch was a case of boredom and tiredness. I was tired of the product that the WWE was showcasing. A few months ago I started paying attention again, and here I am, once again a fan, albeit never as big of a fan as I used to be.

Since this is basically the first ever time I’ve written about wrestling on TSTOS, it’s only fitting that I do it at the beginning of the year, at the end of January, to speak about the Royal Rumble and muse a little bit.

First off, Zack Ryder should have won the Rumble. Not only does he have the best song in the company, the best catch phrase in the company and the coolest gimmick in the entire world of professional wrestling, but he’s also an incredibly hard worker within the company and basically makes his living by beating the crap out of guys like Primo and Chris Masters on the “talented developmental show” WWE Superstars. But hey, he was in the Rumble last night and showcased a few moves against CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, and even hit his finishing move — the Rough Ryder — on Punk. Friends and yours truly marked out.

Second off, I mentioned that I was a big fan back in the day, and with that mentioning, Booker T returned (for one night only? Probably), hit a scissors kick and pulled off his patented spinaroonie before having his ass tossed over the top rope. I marked out.

Third off, another return was Diesel/Kevin Nash. I marked out again. After he made a video with X-Pac (Sean Waltman), shooting on current wrestler Wade Barrett, he was subsequently eliminated by Barrett before having a little staredown with the Big Show on his way to the back. Very nice.

I’m not going to get into the specifics of the Rumble or complain like a lot of people are generally doing on blogs. I just wanted to establish my nerdy side on TSTOS and get this discussion out of the way…

But you already know that. 😉


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