Is there a team in the league playing more like 80-year-old wheelchair surfers than the Boston Celtics? (NOTE: Please don’t mention the San Antonio Spurs or George Hill’s wang in any kind of context here. Thanks. Sincerely, The guy who makes decisions around here)

I knew that when the Celtics gave coach Doc Rivers a new contract following the championship win in ’08 that they were going straight to hell in a hand basket crafted by the godly specters of Los Angeles Lakers’ past.

Why? Because Rivers, to me, is a bum. And that’s not such a bad way considering my use of “bum” in the correct context, unconventional compared to most people’s depictions. Rivers has never been the type of coach to successfully fulfil his duties as making quality rotations in the lineups, and fucking up substitutions — one of the key factors in the Celtics’ game seven “disaster” loss to the Orlando Magic in last year’s Eastern Conference semi-finals.

While the window is closing for team green, at least they ensconced one title in the process.

Better make a move, guys. There’s not a lot of time left for a team that struggles to finish every game with nary an injury.

I’m going to go ahead and jinx the rest of the season for Cleveland fans — the Cavs are going to win the title! Hooray, damn it!

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