The first step in turning the ball over while you’re on offense is to be careless. For instance, when you’re facing up the defender, smile wide and gleefully, be generous by holding the ball too far in front of you to allow one of the players in the other jerseys to take the ball away from you and have the opportunity to run down the court in a fast break disposition to score an easy bucket.

That’s Boston Celtics basketball, baby!

The Celtics turn the ball over nearly 16 times per game. That’s horrendous if you’re trying to win back-to-back championships, not to mention it’s even more horrendous when you have veterans who have played basketball for many, many years on the court. (Paul Pierce and Ray Allen — and when Kevin Garnett was on the court sans the injury, the Celts still had problems!)

Doc Rivers ought to be ashamed of himself. As far as I can remember, they had some difficulties in holding onto the ball last year, too. But hey, Rivers acquired himself a new contract from GM Danny Ainge over the off-season, so hell, I guess it doesn’t matter to him, as long as the cash is flowing influx toward his way. Though, y’know, I’m not going to blame Rivers for the casualties the Celtics have been incurring. The grown men should know how to tie their shoes, pull their pants up, wear belts and not turn the ball over.

The Celtics, if everybody is healthy on a regular night, feature three All-Stars in Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. It’s kind of like the movie The Departed (which won several Academy Awards), in which the movie featured a plethora of award winning actors (and a great actress in Vera Farmiga) such as Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, and Martin Sheen. It’s odd that I compare the Boston Celtics to the movie The Departed, considering the setting was set in Boston. Go figure.

Imagine if the Celtics turned the ball over as much as San Antonio, who tones it down to a very minuscule minimum. Then we’d be seeing the defending champs playing like the way they should be: dominant basketball. The grown men in green would more than likely be dominating every game and heading back to another NBA Finals to grab number eighteen. But as for right now, everything looks like it will implode come playoff time, and the team will have to, well, “depart,” and the season’s end will be like the end of The Departed.

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