After watching Donovan McNabb and the Philadelphia Eagles pick apart my beloved St. Louis Rams yesterday afternoon, I’m ready to muse on the rest of the NFL world.
— Tom Brady was injured yesterday afternoon after he took a shot in the knee by Kansas Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard. Pollard was knocked down by a Patriots offensive lineman, and while on the ground, seeing that Brady still had the ball in his hands, attempted to make a play. Brady released the ball and was subsequently jolted in the knee by Pollard. A lot of skeptics say it was a dirty play. I, however, disagree, as to Pollard’s knowledge was that he saw the ball still in Brady’s hands. If it was a dirty play, then almost every tackle in the NFL is dirty, then. This is football, not Playhouse Barbie.
— I’m already sick of the Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates commercial that seems to be airing on every commercial break during an NFL game (and yesterday was the first time I’d ever seen it!) After watching Donovan McNabb and DeSean Jackson lead the Eagles down the field yesterday afternoon, I was already stressed out, and was already incurring an ulcer. After watching the commercial, I wanted to jump through a window from a 15-story building (don’t worry: I’m not an unstable guy, and would never do such a thing).
— Chad Ocho Cinco and the Cincinnati Bengals were duped by the Baltimore Ravens yesterday evening. Joe freakin’ Flacco outplayed Carson Palmer. I wouldn’t call it a matter of unabridged proportions, so you can’t blame Palmer. I’m going to blame Ocho Cinco. Actually, I’m going to blame Marvin Lewis. Actually, I’m going to blame the whole Cincinnati Bengals organization for allowing such tumultuous aura being displayed over the offseason. If there’s anything more depraved than a man on an ether binge (thank you, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson), the Cincinnati Bengals are it.
— Speaking of the Brady injury, did anybody know about Brody Croyle or Vince Young? I guess not, because Brady is the NFL’s little darling. Oh shew-wee-diddly-doo!
— I didn’t watch it, but the Chicago Bears beat the Indianapolis Colts last night. How does that happen? The Colts offense finally drying out, or is it the Bears defense finally finding the rhythm they used to have? I don’t know. You tell me.
I hope everybody enjoyed their week one experience of the 2008 NFL season. You probably think I didn’t enjoy it, but you now stand corrected, as I did enjoy it, despite the fact that my favorite team is one that explicitly shows that they would rather lose than win.