. . . Not really. You know, back in July when I made my top 30 NFL Will’s/Won’t Happen’s? I’m going to evaluate them and see which ones I was right and wrong about. Let’s see.

30.) Won’t Happen: Randy Moss argues with Tom Brady in more than two games this season.
WRONG: The Patriots capped off their regular season by winning all 16 games, following that up with two sloppy playoff games before being upset in the Super Bowl by the New York Giants.

29.) Won’t Happen: The San Fransisco 49ers win the NFC West
RIGHT: The 49ers were a huge disappointment to people who had picked them to topple the rest of the teams in the NFC West. They repeated another year of finishing third place.

28.) Will Happen: The Cleveland Browns finish last in the AFC North
WRONG: The Browns were headed to the playoffs if it wasn’t for a win  by the Tennessee Titans in week 17. The Browns won 10 games and were unable to high-tail into the playoffs. Poor Browns fans, poor-er Troy for making an awful prediction based on the history of Cleveland sports.

27.) Won’t Happen: Michael Vick stops all of the lackluster interviews and speaks to the media thoroughly and one-hundred percent clearly without any of the “yeah…yo, we here in A-T-L have it planned to the playoffs and it’s on me, baby, it’s on me!”
WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!: You see, this was over two weeks before he was indicted; way before big news came out.

26.) Will Happen: LaDainian Tomlinson maintains his status as the best tailback in the league by popular choice.
RIGHT: While many people jumped on the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately bandwagon of rookie Vikings RB Adrian Peterson, Tomlinson ended the season by winning the rushing title. All of that, of course, was prior to the ignorance he displayed in the AFC title game by sitting on the bench like a pouting child.

25.) Will Happen: You will see over 40,000 ‘Fire Matt Millen’ signs, respectively.
WRONG?: The Lions started 6-2 this year before ‘free fallin’ (FREEEEEEEEEE FALLIN!) to mediocrity. I don’t think fans were holding up these signs as much as they were in 2006, but they could have been.

24.) Won’t Happen: The Rams rush d appears in the bottom 5 of the league.
RIGHT: While the Rams D was mediocre, they weren’t as bad as they were the year before [and the year before that].

25.) Will Happen: Donovan McNabb starts at least 12 games.
RIGHT: He started 14 games, but it didn’t matter much, as the Eagles missed the playoffs.

24.) Won’t Happen: Brett Favre retires at the end of the season.
A tweener: Not too sure right now. Coming off a post-season in which he was a point short from going onto the Super Bowl, throwing a game-losing INT is going to sting. But the situation is undisclosed on whether he’s going to return in 2008 or not.

23.) Will Happen: The Jets, being under the radar, stun general NFL fans and a lot of noise going into the playoffs.
WRONG: They should have made the playoffs. Really. But they played under their potential and had a year where injuries came into a huge effect and knocked them from their rocker. Oh, and Chad Pennington was a huge disappointment. Bingo.

22.) Will Happen: Giants fans improvise a new warcry: “Tiki, coooooooooome back!”
TOO DAMN WRONG: The Giants didn’t miss a single beat of Tiki Barber. They stormed into the playoffs with a bang, and headed to Arizona to subsequently win Super Bowl XLII

21.) Won’t Happen: Shaun Alexander visits an orthodontist
RIGHT: He did not visit an orthodontist.

20.) Won’t Happen: Marc Bulger is protected extremely well all season long.
RIGHT: The Rams offensive line was worse than what it was in 2005 and 2006. It lost its best player in the first game of the year, and Marc Bulger was thrown around like a ragdoll. I’d like to see Tom Brady play behind an offensive line like this.

19.) Will Happen: Carson Palmer leads the league in passing yards
WRONG: Palmer finished 5th, while Tom Brady led the league.

18.) Won’t Happen: Dennis Green, as an analyst, speaks of the “They were who we though they were!” raging comment.
WRONG: Didn’t he patent it?!

17.) Will Happen: Rex Grossman gets jacked up by the Packers’ Ryan Pickett and is forced to miss 5 games.
WRONG: Pickett didn’t jack him up this year.

18.) Won’t Happen: Taveras Jackson shuts up everyone, including myself, who doubts him.
RIGHT: He played better than expected, but the big news in Minnesota in 2007 was Adrian Peterson and the chow he ate.

17.) Will Happen: Jeff Garcia succeeds more than what people are expecting of him during his Tampa Bay stay
RIGHT: Garcia led the Buccaneers to the playoffs before losing to the eventual Super Bowl champion New York Giants.

16.) Will Happen: Vince Young appears pissed off over accepting to grace the cover of Madden ‘08, and the Titans miss the playoffs for the fourth consecutive season.
WRONG: The Titans ended up barely making the playoffs (snipping the Browns), but fell to a San Diego Chargers team that ran to the AFC title game.

15.) Won’t Happen: Terrell Owens goes off on Wade Phillips on the sidelines, screaming and yelling while the veins in his forehead start bulging.
RIGHT: The Dallas Cowboys had a great season. . . but a terrible show in the playoffs. The popcorn was burnt, Terrell!

14.) Will Happen: Brady Quinn throws 18 INT’s for his Rookie campaign
WRONG: Quinn didn’t get a chance — Derek Anderson put up legitimate Pro Bowl caliber numbers

13.) Will Happen: JaMarcus Russell begins to show how overhyped he was coming into the draft, especially hurting himself by playing in a Raiders uniform — not too much fun, I bet.
Tweener: Russell didn’t play much, but for when he did he showed the league flashes of arm strength, but lacked almost everything else.

12.) Won’t Happen: Steven Jackson has himself another 90-reception season.
RIGHT: Jackson didn’t have enough protection from the offensive line to create moves, was too concerned about those that picked him in Fantasy Football drafts, and ended up getting injured. Not cool.

11.) Will Happen: The Cowboys make the playoffs as a Wildcard team.
WRONG: They made the playoffs, but carried the title “NFC East Champions” with them

10.) Won’t Happen: The Redskins relieve and dismiss all defensive struggles.
WRONG: Damn it, they played well on defense this year, especially after they were forced to cope with such an awful tragedy that occurred (Sean Taylor’s sudden death).

9.) Will Happen: The Arizona Cardinals prove, once again, that their hype from the past 4-5 seasons is overdue and people need to just slide them under the radar, as they miss the playoffs, however they do improve as team.
RIGHT: They improved as a team but missed the playoffs, again.

8.) Will Happen: Donald Driver has a big season.
RIGHT: He had a damn solid year, as the Packers — as a team — had an amazing season

7.) Won’t Happen: The Packers have a completely enthralling, amazing, ecstatic, season for their veteran QB, Brett Favre.
WRONG: Could I even be more wrong? Just like more than half of America’s sports fans, I was banged around by this awful call by me.

6.) Will Happen: The Rams pass-or-run style of play confuses the hell out of many of their opponents with the duo of either handing off to Steven Jackson or [Rookie] Brian Leonard.
WRONG: Could I be any more of a homer? But, don’t worry, during the 2008 off-season I will bash the Rams. . . a little bit. I became way too trigger-happy in the 2007 season and overly excited about the factitious offense they were supposedly going to showcase.

5.) Will Happen: The Ravens defense stays in par and in harmony in terms of playing as well as they did last season despite losing Adalius Thomas.
RIGHT: The defense played superb for the most part of the season, right up until the offense sputtered so much where they were depended on by being on the field too long (that’s never good).

4.) Won’t Happen: The Jaguars give the Colts a run for their money at the AFC South title.
Tweener: They kind of did, kind of didn’t. I knew all along — here, my arrogance speaks for itself — that the Colts would win the AFC South, but the Jags played better than what most expected.

3.) Won’t Happen: Trent Green steps into a Dolphins jersey and plays Marino-esque.
RIGHT: What else is there to say? This was about as easy of a call anybody could make

2.) Will Happen: Shawne Merriman absolutely annoys us all, again, with all of his idiotic Lights Out “I am constipated” dance jitters, breaking his own unwritten record of 2006.
WRONG: He didn’t do it THAT much this year.

1.) Won’t Happen: The New England Patriots win Super Bowl XLII.
RIGHT, BUT BARELY: New England ran the table this year and looked as if they were going to solidify them as the greatest team of all time. They saddled up their boys and hauled an 18-game winning streak before losing on the grandest stage of them all, Super Bowl XLII, to the New York Giants.

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One thought on “A Gem for the Picking

  1. Aw man…this was a good post, especially the fact that you re-visited it and stuff. But the best one by far is…

    21.) Won’t Happen: Shaun Alexander visits an orthodontist
    RIGHT: He did not visit an orthodontist.

    That is hilarious.

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