It just doesn’t get much bleaker than this.

St. Louis fans were filled with optimism at the beginning of the 2007 season, touting the Rams’ array of offensive weaponry and upgrades on defense. It was assumed that the Rams had the talent to make the playoffs and possibly retake the division title.

A little over a month later, the cruel sledgehammer of reality has waylaid the remaining fans who have yet to find something else to do with their Sundays. Those few that will continue to watch are either die-hards, masochists or suffer from a shared delusion that “it’s not over yet.”

For those who have yet to be driven insane by the Rams’ ineptitude and are desperate to find a silver lining in the aftermath of their loss to Arizona, here are the top 10 things the 0-5 team’s loyalists can say to each other around the water cooler this week:

“We’re still not mathematically eliminated.”

“No one on the offensive line went down this week.”

“We’re only three games out of first place!”

“Will Kurt Warner be a free agent next year?”

“Richie Incognito sure looked enthusiastic.”

“Were those referees on loan from the NBA?”

“Actually, scoring touchdowns in a game is a moral victory.”

“The announcers mentioned Drew Bennett and Randy McMichael … by name!”

“Who does Mel Kiper have ranked No. 1 overall for the ’08 draft?”

“Nobody comes into our house favored by four and beats the spread!”

So, for the legion of other fellow Rams fans who, by reading this article, prove that they have yet to give up on their team, take solace in the fact that things can’t possibly get any worse. Marc Bulger and Steven Jackson should return soon, and although my Rams won’t make the playoffs, it should become competitive once more.

Then again, Arizona wasn’t exactly dominant in its victory, Seattle looks as if it’s on a steep decline, and San Francisco can’t generate any offense.

Hmmm …


2 thoughts on “Top 10 things Rams fans may say around a water cooler

  1. Someone in a fantasy football league I am in has dropped Steven Jackson and I immediately put in a waiver claim for him. As well, I am in a second league where I might actually trade for him. (I will cop to dropping Bulger – I’m afraid he might get killed) Love Steven J and am hoping for your sake and mine he can get healthy and start pounding on folks again. On a way, way side note, do you remember a couple years back Torry Holt wore a ballet outfit of sorts as part of one of those hideous Monday Night Football skits where they were trying to do a “Candid Camera” kind of thing on him? My memory is sketchy about the details, but perhaps a higher power is now raining down bad karma on this team because Holt was dressed like a ballerina?

  2. LOL. I remember that from a few years ago where he was “selected” as being the “best dressed” and was made to wear a ballerina outfit, before Andy McCollum and [former Ram] Adam Timmerman shown up to tell him simply “Torry, you’ve been sacked.”

    You made a good choice in picking up Jackson. After we get slapped silly by the Baltimore Ravens (it’s feasible), we visit the Seahawks and Jackson always makes sheep of them. If Incognito is playing, that’s line is half decent. And let me not forget to tell you — following the Seahawks game, we welcome the Browns. They may be unpredictable, but they’re capable of being beat single handedly.

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