I’ll be real here, I know hardly any to a zero amount of soccer. My soccer knowledge is almost as immense and vivid as Ryan Leaf’s attention span — OK, maybe not the greatest iconography example in the world, but you get the picture, I’m sure.

So the MLKB (let’s sub in MLKB (Major League Kickball) for soccer, it’s more fun to use) succumbs to their own hopes and wishes of one day becoming as popular in America as the way the NFL, NBA, and MLB have. They flash out $250 million at Beckham like it’s the holy grail of marijuana, and he takes it for what it’s worth for 5 years.

But should this really merit a one-way ticket for Major League Kickball to ascend to the top of American sports popularity and give them nationality presence? Not at all. You would need a couple of more Beckhams on the field, and maybe a Ronaldinho or two. And yet that wouldn’t be enough to put the MLKB over the top in the United States. People were saying the same thing 30 years ago about how kickball was going to rule the United States in years to come. It hasn’t happened yet, and it never will.

“We” Americans, or well the majority of “us” Americans, aren’t into the kicking it back and forth to the same teammates over and over at the same point of the field until you feel the need to take control and kick the ball up the field. type of play. We don’t like sissy-fied 1-0 scores. Last year during the World Cup, I watched a game and about 40 minutes in of nearly watching the same thing over and over, which I couldn’t have been more [insert the antonym of transfixed]. I got up to go take a whiz. By the time I got back, the game was over. The score? 1-0. I had missed the game.

Welcome to America, David Beckham. Welcome to the MLKB’s Los Angeles Galaxy. I couldn’t truly care less about the whole thing, but since it seems to be such a big deal, I sincerely say to you Mr. Beckham, please quit trying to force Reggie Bush to convert his sporting preference to kickball in the commercial you filmed with him. Thanks.


One thought on “Beckham takes storm into America

  1. I love the “MLKB” shot. This is really all about two (Spice Girl Victoria’s coming to America also!) movie-star, celebrity-type Brits who have decided to take a shot at squeezing a few bucks out of unsuspecting Americans. Hold onto your wallets, mates. Here come the Beckhams!

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