To The Only Woman I Have Ever Loved

Two years ago today
I thought you came back to stay
Chemistry that never stopped burning
For you, I was always yearning

We talked like we had never stopped
It was as if the years apart had been cropped
From plants to rats to opinions and food
Your presence put me in an amazing mood

You blew me away to my core
With you, I could never stop wanting more
You were always worried over my reaction to your so-called ‘baggage’
But you must understand that, without you, life has a way of running me ragged

We made big plans fueled by our big dreams
We always made an incredible team
I never thought I’d see the day come
That you would return and then some

The days flew by, but time was slow
What a goddamn paradox, I know
To pass the time we would talk about irrelevant things like eggplant parm
I couldn’t wait for you to be in my arms

Then there was the day our plans crashed
Our hearts, together, were smashed
I wouldn’t have been surprised if you wanted to leave
But it was another time I did not want to be bereaved

You were hurt to the core after I ruined your expectations
It was all because of my abdications
I thought everything was going to go well
The result was, simply put, a veritable living hell

You stayed when you could have left
Citing that your love for me was never bereft
I anticipated losing you again
The love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend

The year ensued and you would ask me when
Throughout 2019, tragic life circumstances were a trend
I’m sorry that shit hit the fan
I know I let you down over and over again

The sacrifices you made for me
I know they are something I’ll never see
I never had what you gave away
I only ever wanted all those things with you, that I know and will say

I disappointed you more than anyone in your life
You always said otherwise, but I know I caused strife
To ever leave again, you said you never would
You cited your undying love for me as a reason you never could

You held on to me and loved me so
I started to truly believe that again you would never go
You said that ever losing me was your life’s all-time biggest regret
As if making it up to me was like an unspoken debt

I constantly felt guilt and the sting of pain
No matter what, your presence remained
Even at times I thought you acted dodgy
You told me that I’m your whole heart walking around outside your body

I will never forget the day we got to be together
Holding your soft, little hands that were as light as a feather
Staring into your eyes and seeing your smile was the greatest gift
Making my heart bleed thinking about our distance rift

Feeling you on my lap and talking like 60-year lovers
I only ever wanted you, just you, if I had my druthers
The sweet taste of your lips and tongue
It made my heart leap as my head spun

Being with you for the day was the greatest thing
More of that is what I thought the future would bring
I knew that soon our union would be permanent
I didn’t think that two months later it would be terminant

The world became crazy as the global pandemic took place
This was the time I fell ill in the midst of the craze
You said you were worried and couldn’t imagine life without me
Which turned out to be a lie, I would soon see

Out of the blue, you left with hardly a sent text
“Everything I do is for you” one day, and gone the very next
You had the audacity to leave without giving me a reason
All while I was sick as a dog in this COVID-19 season

I reached out to you and begged to know why
Unsurprisingly, much like in the past, you didn’t bother to reply
A situation I should now be conditioned to
You threw me away again, you knew

Ever since then, my heart has been fried
In the months that followed, I found out things of which about you lied
My love remains but my trust? Shattered
You took a shit on my heart and made sure it was battered

Why did you leave without telling me why?
Is it because you didn’t want to admit another lie?
In my heart, you knew you would leave a void as a huge hole
Words can’t describe how my mental health has taken a toll

I see that you went back to the same old man
The tech dork weasel you cheated on in just a year’s span
The same ‘abusive’ douche who threw barstools through windows
Because on “It’s Always Sunny” he was triggered by Danny DeVito

Why would you settle for someone whom you have no connection?
What’s the point in being unhappy in that direction?
If it is just for the kids, how do you expect it to last?
You talked pure shit about him and his family, as evident in the recent past

How do you wake up daily and look at yourself in the mirror?
The consequences of repeating history only become clearer
All the while I’m in a constant state of mental torment
TSTOS, I feel, is the only place I can vent

Every single day, I miss you dear
It hurts, especially since distance-wise, you are so near
I dream about you often, especially your voice
I’m always doing mental gymnastics in attempt to understand your choice

My trust for you is broken and that hurts to say
Your repetition of actions tell me you don’t give a fuck anyway
Still I will forever love you and be your biggest fan
I wish I could cheer you on in endeavors and be your sole man

You are a permanent part of my soul
But now my heart is a black hole
I’ll never, ever say a crass word to you
You will always be my little boo

Unconditional love is what I feel
My love for you will always be real
Even though you repeated the same mistake
I hope you accomplish great things for goodness sake

You told me you would never be OK again without me
But it looks like you are doing fine, I see
I feel so isolated and dumb with this excessive pain
I want you to be happy, regardless of your choices that are insane

Every night, it’s a struggle to sleep
I think about all the promises you didn’t keep
I think about the January day you looked me in the eyes
The way you had no problem telling lies

I miss you more than you could know
Why oh why did you go?
I wish I knew the answer to that as I don’t understand it
Why did you ghost me while I was sick in the middle of a pandemic?

I love you, beautiful, no matter if we never speak another word
I wish you meant it when you promised we would have TLS the Third
Now I must try to move forward and pick up the pieces
I’ll always remember our day together, as it was sweeter than a Reese’s

I will hold you in my heart forever as the future ensues
In not being together, we both lose
I feel completely empty and foolish as I sit around
I’m sorry that I disappointed you and let you down

Healing Your Liver

I spent the weekend with an impromptu trip to Gatlinburg. Lots of thoughts running through my head while time moves forward. Here’s something I’d like to share with others who may need it.

Liver health is important, but that goes without saying.

Being fully transparent, ever since the end of March I have drank more alcohol than I have in the last eight years combined (if I had to guestimate). If you know what happened, then you know a key component as to why.

The biggest reason is because I have used it as a crutch in order to go to sleep at night. There are not many things more debilitating than having a racing mind when you try to sleep. For a while, I tried melatonin, and it worked to initially help me go to sleep for a while, but I would make up at 2-3 in the morning, unable to go back to sleep and still dealing with overthinking.

The question “why?” which relates to March 30th, since by the evidence I wasn’t at least respected enough to receive a response after being lied to daily for sixteen months, runs through my head while I try to do the mental gymnastics to come up with the hypothetical answers myself. Since that time, I have never been this depressed in my entire life. I genuinely believed nothing could top 2011-2013, but this has been even worse, tenfold.

I knew it to be a haphazard mistake to primarily use whiskey to fall asleep, but it helped, and that’s what I needed to shut my mind up and at least temporarily numb the pain of missing the person I will always and forever love unconditionally no matter their repetition of actions. 2019 was a painful year featuring a multitude of tragic events, but selfishly, at least I had her. After the first three months of 2020, after she spontaneously did what she did apropos to nothing, without explanation, I drew inwards, alienated everyone and have only talked about it on here. Detrimental indeed.

I have been working towards slowly quitting alcohol use completely in order to go to sleep without it, so I have gone back to the drawing board. In the meantime, here are some healthy supplements to unfuck your liver after you have inundated it.

This goes for alcoholism, PUFA overconsumption, excessive iron, heavy metal toxicity, gut issues, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, etc… This is a good supplement stack.

1.) Caffeine — asides from two suggestions below (vitamin k2 and magnesium), I recommend taking the rest of the supplements with caffeine. I don’t fully know the exact biological mechanics behind it, but caffeine reduces the risk of liver disease, and… if you are on a one-way ticket to good ol’ cirrhosis-ville it will ‘slow’ the process.

I consume anywhere from 600 mg to a gram of caffeine a day. I wouldn’t recommend that routine to anybody else, but I’m being upfront about my use. 200-400mg should be the sweet spot for most people, preferably in the 200-300mg range rather than higher.

2.) Milk thistle extract* — the science is still out on milk thistle. Some people say the science isn’t substantial enough to verify the claims of healing and repairing the liver, but it is a good idea to at least give it a chance

3.) Taurine — taurine is a big-time amino acid that is great for the liver, taken in a dose of 2-3 grams a day. It helps move bile, aids in digestion in that way, and there is an alleged cortisol lowering effect. You have probably seen it in energy drinks as an ingredient. It is synergistic with caffeine, mitigates jitteriness and mediates a rapidly beating heart.

4.) Vitamin K2 (Mk4 and Mk7) — several years ago, I got interested in vitamin k2 due to its relationship with calcium and vitamin D. It ‘helps’ caffeine get into the bones, where it belongs, rather than calcifying arteries. Years later, I learned that it is beneficial for the liver. Food sources of vitamin k2 involve fermented foods, but also farm-fresh eggs from pastured chickens — I’ve always been lucky in that I’ve lived on a farm for 98% of my life and have been able to eat fresh eggs vs. from a store mostly.

5.) Glycine — glycine has been found to help regenerate cells in a failing liver.

6.) Magnesium — magnesium affects over 300 enzymatic functions in the body. I have been taking it (chelated magnesium) off-and-on for years since the end of 2014. Much like caffeine, it slows liver damage.

Honorable mention: aspirin. 325-650mg. I don’t recommend it if you have been drinking daily (blood thinner + blood thinner = not great), but it is beneficial to unfucking the liver in the long run, albeit daily aspirin use isn’t advised.

‘Intuitive Eating’ is Flawed and Monumentally Idiotic

I would rather watch two mice fuck in a wet tube sock behind a washing machine than listen to anything the HAES crowd has to say, but…

At the forefront, ‘intuitive eating’ doesn’t sound so bad. If you are hungry, eat. Are you full/satiated? Stop. It sounds innocent. For some people, this works, and for those select few, I’m referring to the people who take the time to chew each bite of their food 25-35 times before swallowing.

The problem is, the ‘health at every size’ crowd of the internet have twisted it around. Hijacked it. The same way they hijacked ‘body positivity’, which used to be about people accepting uncontrollable bodily marks from birthmarks to burn victims’ scars and other things. Some fuckin’ how, some fuckin’ way, this got twisted around into meaning, ‘eat all the cake and ice cream, and don’t feel guilty about it.’ Goddamn.

It is a dangerous mindset. This shouldn’t even need to be explained why. I’m not on the ‘sugar is bad’ train (read: sugar from whole food sources), but when you consume a sweet treat, it is a dopamine spike, and your brain’s primitive lil’ ol reward center is going to induce cravings for more… uh… ‘intuitively.’

The only times I’ve witnessed intuitive eating being championed on the internet have been by overweight people.

If I ate ‘intuitively’ in the way they speak about, I would weigh 400 lbs. because it would be easy to polish off junk food if it were sitting in front of me and I decided to give no iota of a shit about the consequences and feeling lethargic and terrible later. Their idea of intuitive eating is childish. Think about it: you know how so many kids want to dive straight into the dessert at a party rather than eat dinner first? Or when kids want to eat cookies or whatever before dinner? That is how these adults are.

Many, many years ago, I never would have thought to see the day of people celebrating unhealthy dietary behaviors. I think it was 2012 when I first heard about ‘fat logic’ being passed around on the internet in the guise of ‘body positivity.’ I probably saw something in a Tumblr post about how ‘doctors are fatphobic.’ Over eight years later and I’m still mindfucked by how a morbidly obese human being can be offended by medical advice that exists to correct a self-caused condition as a result of the consequences of poor, low quality eating habits.

Sometimes, and I’m sadly wrong, I think a lot of these crazily unhealthy ideals are memes. I remember reading the words, “broccoli and brussels sprouts are fat phobic.” You can’t make this shit up. How in the good goddamn of a cocksucker fuck are those two cruciferous vegetables ‘fat phobic’? In what goddamn planet are we on that shit like that is not a meme? It’s a fuckin’ meme. I think my mind has a natural shield up by way of accepting weird statements like that as memes, because I can’t wrap my mind around a grown, free-thinking adult human being actually accepting such a odd paradigm for themselves.

While the coronavirus pandemic-induced quarantine has caused a spike in cooking at home, a lot of people — I’m talking about Americans — have no idea how to cook and eat junk, takeout, frozen meals, etc. all the time. The biggest reason a lot of people don’t ‘like’ vegetables is because they have never tasted them properly prepared. Have you ever had brussels sprouts mixed up in a bit of bacon fat, seasoned up with black pepper, garlic and a touch of extra salt before being roasted in the oven? What about broccoli tossed in a little bit of olive oil & Kinder’s woodfired garlic rub and subsequently roasted in a cast iron skillet in the oven? Oh yeah, so fat phobic and delicious.

I have always been a big proponent of IIFYM — If It Fits Your Macros. IIFYM entails eating 95% whole foods from — y’know — whole food sources, and if you haven’t overeaten, enjoy a small snack. It is a healthy mindset to avoid extreme, unhealthy dietary restrictions. It doesn’t mean, “Go crazy and eat like the way a 5-year-old would if they could have whatever they want whenever they want.”

I never see anybody over the age of 40-years-old advocating for this new age, HAES-defined ‘intuitive eating’. Only people in their 20s and early 30s. There is a reason for that, because eventually bad habits always catch up to you asides from a very few cases of extreme anomalies, but the exception is never the rule.

Beetus, high blood pressure, out-of-whack high cholesterol, heart disease, joint and back pain, not being able to walk up a small flight of stairs or navigate through a parking lot to your car without breathing heavily are not fun consequences for anybody.

I want to believe the HAES ‘movement’ will die out in the next ten or so years as that crowd gets older and experiences the above ramifications. It will die out when they die out. The coroner can chalk it up as “cause of death: a lethal dose of obesity and rampant dumbfuckery” on the death certificate.

It is not my intention to sound heartless, but we live in the ultimate information age, when knowledge exists at our fingertips on a handheld device called a smartphone. While the nutritional science world is convoluted with varying ideals on which is the best dietary lifestyle to live with, a general guideline is merely a couple of keyboard taps away. Wasting my time writing this paragraph, because ah, y’know, ‘DiEt CuLtUrE’ is another term I’ve heard over the years, from that to ‘sugar industry’. (The fuck?)

In this realm of things, the people making up these terms and modifying the definitions of existing phrases would rather play the victim card and make excuses for themselves instead of taking care of themselves.

Hey Buttah-Buttah

Recently my good friends from Chattanooga Butter Co. hooked me up with their roasted garlic compound butter, and I couldn’t wait to give it a shot.

The result: absolutely, ridiculously amazing. I tossed some of Jess Pryles’ Hardcore Carnivore Black on a 2″ ribeye and seared it over some hot-ass lump charcoal. I finished the cook with a generous amount of the butter. Whenever I remove steaks from the grill, I always wrap them in aluminum foil to rest ’em up and allow the juices to collect in the foil. This time, I poured the juices + butter onto the steak and a couple of baked potatoes. So damn good.

The folks behind Chattanooga Butter Co. are top notch people. They have a never-satisfied attitude as far as when it comes to their product and ensuring a high grade of quality with all their butter in each batch, and it shows. Use code THEGRIZZ for 10% off.


Imagine ghosting the love of your life in the middle of a global pandemic while they are sick as a dog.

Imagine saying that losing your soulmate is your life’s all-time biggest regret and then doing it all over again — your soulmate… the only person in the history of your entire life who was always there for you and responded when you reached out.

“Everything I do, every decision I make is for you. You are my whole heart walking around outside my body. I won’t do life with anyone else. I can’t. It has only ever been you.”


I need therapy, and it is overdue. I just can’t get over all this pain. If I didn’t have to constantly wonder why things happened the way they did barely over seven months ago, it would still hurt, but at least I would have some kind of closure to go on.

It really sucks having to wonder why the woman who said, “I can’t imagine life without you, and I’ll never repeat my life’s biggest regret again” did just that without having even the common decency to explain herself despite 16 months of daily love-bombing and faux-promises. I welcomed her back into my life with open arms. I forgave her fully. I showered her with love, daily encouragement and trusted her. She looked me in the eyes in person and told me she would never fuck me over again, and then she undid all of my healing in one fell swoop. How am I in so much pain while she is just fine and dandy?

The summer months were easier to stay busy. As the weather cools down, being back inside more often, stuck dwelling on my thoughts and in my head more than I want to be, the pain is too much sometimes. I just want to feel better. I deserve better.

We Shouldn’t Be Surprised by Skip Bayless’s Comments on Dak Prescott

A few days ago on the Fox Sports 1 show, “Skip and Shannon: Undisputed”, Skip Bayless said some dipshit-level things. That isn’t uncommon, but this was about a topic that he shouldn’t have even broached.

If you are out of the loop: quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, Dak Prescott, recently opened up about his mental health struggles in the last five months. His brother, at only 31 years of age, committed suicide back in April. Prescott shared with the media that he has tussled with anxiety and depression since then in the midst of the global pandemic. He struggled to workout and visited a sports psychologist in order to work through it all.

Dak showed incredible bravery and courage for stepping up and publicly sharing this information about his life. As someone who has felt extreme darkness ever since the tail end of March, I found it powerful for the quarterback of the most popular NFL team to open up about a topic that is still all-too taboo. It’s no secret that men usually are seemingly suppressed from discussing mental health struggles. As a man, you are expected to be stoic, ‘strong’ and not fold when life’s circumstances kick your ass. I can relate to that pressure so well. Asides from writing a smidgen about it on this blog, I have kept my mouth shut about the pain I have felt ever since late March. I need to go to therapy. I haven’t. Stubbornness. I digress.

So, this topic was brought up on Undisputed, and Skip Bayless opened his mouth. Bayless directly stated that he doesn’t have sympathy for Dak going public with his battle with depression. He said that Dak shouldn’t show any ‘weakness’ because it ‘can affect your team’s ability to believe in you as a leader in the toughest spots.’

Yikes. Big yikes. What the fuck was he thinking?

Social media exploded afterwards. A lot of people are clamoring for Skip to lose his job. At the end of the day, though, Skip is paid handsomely to spew his opinions for two hours a day, five days a week, and usually his opinions are on the level of a shock jock radio host who delivers hot take after hot take. Skip took his usual nonsense too far this time.

I’m not surprised that Skip said what he did — I’m just disappointed. Much like what happened at the end of March — I’m not surprised; just disappointed.

What Skip said is not a take. It is an insult. His comments are invalid. If anything, Dak opening up about his depression shows true leadership and confidence, to be able to be so candid in the spotlight about a mental health battle. Skip is a clown. He makes his living talking shit.

I don’t watch too many of the ‘talking heads’ shows. I always know what to expect out of “Undisputed”, “First Take” and “First Things First” — a couple of talking heads debating and occasionally saying some controversial shit that gets heat on social media. But I had to comment on this once I heard about it. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the headline about Skip’s comments. I thought it was a sensational headline attempting to attract views until I watched the video from the segment itself.

What Skip said is exactly that archaic and indefensible thought process that contributes to men suffering in silence and never asking for help. I feel that in my soul and have so for a few years now. For the last couple of years, I have had to be strong for so many people, only confiding my weaknesses to one solitary person who I ignorantly love uncontrollably and sheepishly trusted despite their extreme track record of being intermittently flaky and overwhelmingly perennially dishonest.

When the depression I have felt becomes too much to seemingly handle at times, I draw inwards and alienate people (asides from that same one person, who has routinely fucked me over worse than anyone else in my entire life ever has, teaching me a painful lesson this third time after I was too simple-minded to learn after the first two instances) out of habit in order to try to self-fix and ‘unfuck’ my mind. That is a dangerous territory. It is always good for you to strive towards self-improvement, but doing so by only relying on yourself and not seeking outside help is a treacherous road. That is what is wishy-washy, right? I can admit that, but when it comes down to it, I still put on a strong face for everyone in my life, cracking jokes along the way, because they are going through their own problems and I refuse to bring them down with mine. Isn’t that some shit? Even after I write all of this and post it, that’s how I’ll be.

I saw that some dumb motherfucker on social media wrote something like, “Sign of the ages. You’re now on a pedestal if you broadcast your disease, your issues and your victimhood.” Simple-minded anonymous fickle-fucks like this is part of the problem. Stop being part of the problem and be part of the solution. Holy shit.

At the end of the day, Dak opened up and basically said, “Hey, I’m a human fucking being; I can be vulnerable, and it has been a tough ass year for me. I wanna normalize mental wellness and admitting when we aren’t OK.”

Skip’s response was basically, “Nah, Dak, you are now a lesser football player because you expressed yourself as a human being.”

The Rams open their season against Dak and the Cowboys tonight. While, of course, I hope the Rams win, I wish Dak would say, “Fuck you, Skip Bayless” before or after the game, but he won’t because he is too classy and mature to given credence to that talking head sack of shit.

My Idea of a Healthy Relationship

He might have issues, but he becomes increasingly aware of them and fixes them.
She might have issues, but she becomes increasingly aware of them and fixes them.

He doesn’t blame her for his issues, and he doesn’t expect her to fix things when he makes a mess.
She doesn’t blame him for her issues, and she doesn’t expect him to fix things when she makes a mess.

He has a centered life and takes care of his fulfillment.
She has a centered life and takes care of her fulfillment.

He loves her unconditionally.
She loves him unconditionally.

He’s masculine.
She’s feminine.

He knows his strengths and weaknesses. He uses his strength to compensate for her weakness, and asks for help when he’s weak.
She knows her strengths and weakness. She uses her strength to compensate for his weakness, and asks for help when she’s weak.

He doesn’t abuse the terms of the relationship.
She doesn’t abuse the terms of the relationship.

He doesn’t ghost her without warning or reason given in the middle of a goddamn global pandemic while she is sick as a dog.
She doesn’t ghost him without warning or reason given in the middle of a goddamn global pandemic while he is sick as a dog.

His boundaries are healthy.
Her boundaries are healthy.

Their time together is mostly happy.

He supports her mission in life and is an indispensable part of it.
She supports his mission in life and is an indispensable part of it.

When everything else fails and life stinks, he has her. It brightens the world.
When everything else fails and life stinks, she has him. It brightens the world.

In poverty. In richness. In the bad. In the good. In the ups and downs.

When he loses his focus and wanders, she nurtures him so he can find himself again.
When she loses her focus and wanders, he supports her so she can find herself again.

He doesn’t doubt her.
She doesn’t doubt him.

He doesn’t lie to her, ever.
She doesn’t lie to him, ever.

He can get loose and relaxed around her in total trust.
She can get loose and relaxed around him in total trust.

He would jump on the fire to save her.
She would jump on the fire to save him.

If he fails and she succeeds, she stays with him.
If she fails and he succeeds, he stays with her.

What they share is bigger than each one apart.

They offer each other their true reflection. And with a look, they both are illuminated.

2020 Sucks and the Rams’ New Logo is an Eyesore

Ah, 2020. I thought for sure this year would blow 2019 away in terms of positive outcomes in regards to the setbacks and difficult circumstances that were faced in the past year. That’s a big, fat nope. January was actually a great month — especially the day January 28th — but in February my tiny community experienced its biggest flood since 2002 and things got a little murky, but still. However, in March, I began the month awfully sick, and I ended the month terribly lovesick, which automatically makes this year worse than 2019 for me, I’m selfishly admitting, although my family is much healthier this year than the last (so far… knock on wood).

Oh, and the coronavirus thing. Yeah, that’s the big theme of 2020 for everyone so far. I’m currently at my lowest point in life since 2011-2013, but there is nothing I can do at the moment to control this excruciatingly painful and unpredictable circumstance that is completely out of my power, so all I can do is keep pushing forward and working on myself to figure out a way, any way, to hold it together for the people in my life who truly genuinely love and appreciate me. I digress.

I’m a little late to the party on this, and I’m joining the echo chamber of other displeased Los Angeles Rams fans, but it cannot be said enough:

The new Rams’ logo is a goddamn eyesore, and what a shame it is to see. Behold:

I’m with ya, brother Sean, WTF is this shit?




The Rams’ front office had two years to work on this rebranding. You mean to tell me the LA logo and the new Rams head logo were presented in front of a focus group and approved afterwards?

I want to know who the focus group was that approved this God awful travesty of a pair of logos, because they are straight garbage.

I actually don’t mind the Rams’ head logo. Sure, I mean, the nose region of the Ram logo is weirdly phallic in nature (WTF is up with that?) and the overall logo looks like it was designed by some 19-year-old southern California hipster acting as an intern, creating it out of generic clipart, but I feel like my non-artistic self could throw together a better Rams logo in Microsoft Paint (actually, that’s not true, but for the sake of sticking to the theme of slinging shade at this monstrosity, let’s go with it). Though it’s not the worst logo ever, I guess. Thing is, the Rams’ head isn’t even the default logo.

The default logo for the Rams, going forward, is the ugly ‘LA’ logo.

Why, why, why, damn it? I’ve been asking a lot of “why’s?!” lately. Mostly to one person, but in this instance I’m asking “WHY?!” to the collective shit heel Rams’ front office. Kevin Demoff, you spent the last six months trolling fans on social media over the logo, and then you drop this LA turd.

I get it. The Rams moved back to Los Angeles in 2016 after 22 years in St. Louis, and the rebrand was expected to happen in 2020 since the brand new SoFi stadium is opening, this upcoming season, but what is up with what apparently looks like a Los Angeles Chargers ‘C’? I’d rather see the team use the dick-nose Ram as the primarily logo rather than the fugly LA logo. Who gives a rip if they are back in Los Angeles? Not even the residents of Los Angeles give a damn. Most of the fans in that area are Raiders fans. However, of course, the front office wants to sell merchandise and solidify that the Rams are back in Los Angeles. Who cares?

The Rams are set up to have a piss poor season this year, and I expect it to be an awful year for them especially considering the fact that they play in the NFL’s toughest division (the NFC West). I back that statement up by mentioning that they let Cory Littleton walk to the Las Vegas Raiders; Greg Zuerlein to the Dallas Cowboys, the offensive line hasn’t been improved; they have new respective offensive, defense and special teams coordinators.

What was possibly the most painful act of the offseason was the release of running back Todd Gurley, who was the face of the franchise in instigating the Rams’ rebirth in 2017 and 2018, when the team made the playoffs for the first time since 2004 in 2017, and then the Rams’ Super Bowl berth in the 2018 campaign. I wasn’t surprised by this, because Gurley has a terrible case of arthritis at only 25 years of age, and the Rams saved themselves from an impending cap hit by releasing him when they did, even though they will still suffer from the large contract they dished out to him back in 2018. Now he is with the Atlanta Falcons, back in his home state of Georgia, and talking all kinds of smack directed at his former squad.

What a trainwreck.

I’m still up in the air about going ahead and deleting TSTOS. It really has ran its course. There is no direction on here. Sports are ‘shut down’ due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and I haven’t had the time to commit to keeping the site active. I’ve been thinking about scrapping it for at least four years but I just haven’t given it the final coup de grace shot yet.

The Health & Fitness World is Rife With Disguises and Tricks

The title of this post is something many of you realize. The supplement industry within the health and fitness world preys on gullible and oftentimes desperate people who will quickly part with their money in search for optimal health and vitality.

The nutrition world is still in the wild west stages of is infancy. You have people from so many segments of dietary regimens who believe their particular dietary lifestyle is superior to others. Vegans, Ray Peat-ers, keto, Paleo, ‘fruitarians’, even the ‘carnivore diet’ crowd.

I’m jaded. I’ve been around and have independently researched much of these ‘diets’ in my spare time for more than a decade. The bottom line is that the shills of every dietary clique will cherrypick any scientific, peer-reviewed studies that support their opinions and biased beliefs that are often passed off as stone cold facts while shunning opposing studies by convoluting the words to provide a faulty counterargument.

While I stay current with news in this side of things whenever I have the time, I became jaded back in 2014. June 2014 to be specific. Over the course of 2013 onwards, there was a troll who resided in the backdrop of TSTOS who would find posts I’ve written that are similar to others around the web and accuse me of plagiarism. After my first reply to this person, diplomatically asking them to knock it off, they continued to troll and pester me. That is the internet, though. Give somebody the chance for anonymity and they will take full advantage to reveal their true selves.

In June 2014, however, after I wrote a post involving bashing the paleo diet, this same troll instigated a feud between myself and this fairly popular health/fitness writer from Canada named James Fail by telling Fail that I was stealing his ideas. We had written about similar topics, but I had never heard of his James Fail character. However, I woke up one day to TSTOS being brigaded by the mindless cronies of Fail. I even received hateful emails from his followers — grown adults, I discovered after I looked them up, who had spouses and children! — many of which said to me, “I hope you get cancer, bro.” If you want to understand why people claim the world is in such shit shape where common courtesy is lacking among fellow humans, it may have something to do with people like that. I reached out to Fail to ask him to call off the brigade, but he double-downed. I had to shut TSTOS down for a week due to this inane madness. Afterwards, I swore off writing about anything health and fitness related to a while and stuck to mediocrely posting about MMA. I never heard from the troll again — maybe he finally got off to his ultimate fetish of watching my site falter for a temporary amount of time, but at the end of the day I won: TSTOS is still standing, whether it is on life support or not, a relic in the guise of a blog from the days of old or not, almost thirteen years after creating it. The troll ultimately [James] ‘FAILed’.

I digress.

I have never considered myself a health and fitness writer. I simply do not have the credentials. I’m just a guy who tries to be neutral and observe all sides of an argument before holding an opinion. We live in an age now where it is popular to be reactionary to any kind of news and impulsively deliver snap opinions and judgments on something before allowing it to sit and bake.

I struggle with taking the charlatans of the health world seriously. One example: I don’t consider Ray Peat to be a charlatan, but many of his dietary followers could be considered legally insane in some states.

Dave Asprey is someone I believe to be a charlatan, though. Y’know, the creator of Bulletproof Coffee — the coffee that you put unsalted butter and MCT (the type of dietary fat found in coconut oil) oil into. I love butter and coconut oil, but Asprey and the Bulletproof bunch concocted outrageous claims that the coffee may as well be the real life version of NZT-48.

I enjoy reading stories about successful people. They are inspiring to me. I would much rather read an old fashioned American success story than one about someone’s life falling apart. Even better, though, is a story about somebody becoming a success after their life has fallen apart (comeback stories are the best). However, sometimes what you are presented with, passed off as facts and truths, is not the full story. This is relevant to Davey boy.

From a marketing standpoint, Asprey attributes his energy, alertness and overall ability to stay in shape to Bulletproof Coffee and supplements that you can just pick up at your local Vitamin Shoppe. The thing is, he takes daily metformin and modafinil. Yes, I said metformin – the diabetes treatment drug; I haven’t delved too deep into the research, but apparently one of its alleged side effects is somehow improved cognition and another is related to anti-aging. Whatever. Modafinil is prescribed for folks who deal with narcolepsy and sleep apnea. Modafinil acts as a secondary nootropic.

Furthermore, Asprey is on a TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) program, from hCG, anastrozole (an aromatase inhibitor) and finasteride to halt balding. A lot of this is left off his website. I could keep going, but meh. It is irritating to watch people who don’t know any better accept his marketed methods at face value rather than look deeper. His appearances on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast are my least favorite.

You wanna be ‘BuLlEtPrOoF’ like Mr. Asprey? Better adopt the real protocol (testosterone, finasteride, anastrozole, metformin and modafinil), because it overpowers his public, oft-marketed protocol (butter, MCT oil, caffeine and OTC supplements). Give me a break.

Y’know the little advertisements from the 1980s (I wasn’t around back then, but thank goodness for YouTube) featuring Hulk Hogan advising people to say their prayers, eat vegetables and take vitamins, extolling the virtues of such things as to why he was as big and jacked as he was? That was stated all the while he was behind the scenes juicing up with anabolic steroids and cracking jokes to his pals about all the ‘vitamins’ he actually takes. That reminds me of Asprey, here in the tail end of the 2010s.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forget that people in the health and fitness world are in the money making business, and on one hand I don’t blame them because there is a career to be had. That said, do not let it slip from your mind’s grasp that Asprey got his start in the nootropics arena of things by emitting exaggerated claims about raising his IQ by 20 points and curing his own health issues. When he started selling coffee, he did so by making people believe that any other coffee is basically poisonous (I remember when every one of his articles featured the word, ‘mycotoxins’). This man attempts to brand anything he teaches, and whatever he doesn’t he touts things as horrid. What a classic money making trick.. er, tactic. If people find out that his coffee isn’t a special cure-all panacea/elixir, he might as well be a pot roast that has been in the crockpot for eight hours, because he would be done.

Dig deeper. Do the research. Be wary of accepting truths from somebody who is making money off of what they tell you in case they are selling something on the side. What they write is quite genuinely existing for the purpose to extract money from you. You only have yourself to rely on for searching for the truths you want to latch onto when it comes to your health. It is the wild west, baby.



All credit for this image goes to @hornsupgfx on Instagram

That is all I have to say.

I am thrilled.

Horns up!

Edit (8:03pm):

New Orleans Saints fans are bawling their eyes out over the poor officiating in this game. First of all, the officiating was horrid all game long for both teams. They missed calls against the Saints that should have been called, too, including multiple missed facemasks and a delay of game penalty.

The game was in New Orleans, as the Saints had homefield advantage. The Rams offense could not communicate with one another or hear a thing for most of the game. The Saints held a 13-0 lead they couldn’t manage to hold onto with one of the most celebrated, prolific quarterbacks in NFL history at the helm against a Rams defense that was disappointing throughout the season considering what most people expected of them.

Jared Goff made some terrific throws down the stretch, Drew Brees tossed an interception in overtime and Greg Zeurlein connected on two incredible field goals despite the overwhelming noise. The Saints lost this game; the refs did not lose it for them. Take the emotions out of it. Replay the game and watch the plays the Rams made down the stretch. The missed called on the Saints was an uncatchable ball, anyhow.


Gumbo is soup.

Second edit (8:28pm):

Expected rebuttal from detractors… “If you were a Saints fan, you would be livid!” Of course I would. As a die-hard Rams fan, I’ve watched the Rams be swindled by bad calls and no-calls for years.

I watched the Rams lost to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI 17 years ago on February 3, 2002 where there were plenty of no calls as it pertained to Willie McGinest holding Marshall Faulk, Kurt Warner being hit late and Tom Brady not being called for intentional grounding. I wrote a ton about this 11-12 years ago in 2007 and 2008 when the Spygate crap was going on.

It happens.

Welcome to the National Football League.